The Further Adventures of Proto-Mechanic: Home Edition

The Job: Installing a new hot water heater in the Casa De Proto
The Place: Casa De Proto, Pantry
Estimated Time of Completion: 4-5 Hours


So, headed to Lowe's for some wondrous stuff:

1) Hot water Heater... mid range, 50 gallon, 9 year warranty
1) Universal Hot Water Heater installation kit
1) Garden Sprayer (for Christan)
3) Ceiling fans
2) Ceiling fan light fixtures
1) Ceiling fan cleaning brush, 'cause I am worth it.

then hopped over to Sears to get a new drill set. My seven year old Ryobi went dead so I gathered my brain trust (Dad and Master of Sport Mechanic and All 'Round Great Guy, My Personal Mechanicing Lifeline Terry) and debated the pros and cons of getting a set with an impact drill or not. I opted to, 'cause I'm worth it. Dropped off the booty at the house and Christan went off to stock up on two dollar mulch. That would be the second of many, many trips to Lowe's over the next many, many hours.

Unpacked my tools and used the impact drill to put in a screw that had been mocking me for weeks. Gave it "What's for!" Already paid for itself has the impact drill.

I kill the water supply to the house, flick the breaker on the HWH (note my flicking the breaker on the dishwasher several moons back) and drain the old water heater. This goes much faster once the hot water tap has been opened, I found. Broke out the old Volt-Meter I got for the window repair/fiasco (foreshadowing, kids) and made my lone call to Master of Sport Mechanic and All' Round Gret Guy, My Personal Mechanicing Lifeline Terry to see how to use it. Indeed, I had the power off.

Broke out the Universal HWH kit, and unpacked the new HWH, read all the directions and was ready to proceed. I noted that none of the three pipe set ups going into the heater were the same. The hot water outlet was a copper tube about a foot long going into some PVC. The overflow valve was a huge copper fitting with smaller PVC and the cold water intake was a series of jointed metal pipes then hooked into smaller PVC. Yes, Dr. Frankenstein had apparently installed my old Hot Water Heater with parts cobbled together from the ol' homestead and junkyards in the area. But don't worry (foreshadowing teaser) it gets better! I was able to slip off the hot water hook up, but had to hacksaw the cold water and the overflow. No worries. After a very minor struggle, I got the old HWH out of the pantry and only broke the light switch a little bit, but I did find a mummified potato with tendrils of fear escaping it. Set the new water heater in the pantry. It just fit, I mean like a half inch of clearance. Never occurred to me to measure the doorway. Note to Self: Measure the Doorways. Struggled to get the HWH balanced onto several bricks. Yes, bricks, 'cause that was what the old HWH was sitting on. Nostalgia and all that.

So, busted out the Universal kit and, having read the directions, spread sealant on the male end of the flexible hose, and went to put it into the water heater...

eh?

There were already male ends coming out of the HWH. Weird. I checked everything and sure enough, this Universal kit would not work  for my HWH. Took my second trip back to Lowe's and found yet another Universal kit that had female adapters on both ends of the hose. Two different kits claiming Universality makes neither one of them Universal. I was able to get my thirty-five bucks back for the bad Universal kit and was able to purchase the new Universal kit for twenty-five dollars and some PVC fittings that I thought would help when I had to hook everything back up.

Back at the Casa De Proto, I quickly ganked a flexible hose on to the hot water outlet and went to use a compression fitting on the 3/4 inch new pipe to the unknown but WAYYYY smaller copper tube. We struggled for half an hour before realizing that something weren't right. A quick call to Big Daddy Dave and, sure enough, my pipe is inordinately small (which is what she said, unfortunately). Back to Lowe's for the third time. Also, the emergency outlet valve is 3/4 inch but the pipe is... 1/4 inch. And the Cold water outlet is 3/4 inch and the pipe is... 1/2 inch. Damn you, Frankenstein. Damn, you, sir.

I tell the guy that the copper tube is prolly 1/4 inch. He claims that is ridiculous, no one in their right mind would use 1/4 copper tubing to install a hot water heater.

"Yeah, well, it could just be my internal rage getting the best of me, but it sho' nuff doesn't look like one of these here," I hold up a 1/2 inch tube, "half inch tubes."

So, I call Logan and have him measure it. Sho' nuff, he said it looked like a half inch to him. Balls. Guy at the Lowe's gives me a gator clamp fitting, says it will just click into place. Foreshadowing!

Back at the Casa De Proto, I gank the fitting onto the flexible hose and then attempt to just click the 1/2" tube into place. It spins like butter on a bald monkey. I mean, it ain't even close. Forty-five minutes later, I do manage to break the insert and that is that, though I know for a fact that something ain't right. Proto-Mechanic senses tingling and all.

Allow me to have an aside. Against all Proto-Mechanic history, I have managed to stay completely calm and lucid throughout this whole ordeal. Little to no swearing except for the obligatory "shit" and "sonnavabitch."

As Lowe's is now closed, I sigh heavily and figure the hot water intake is a wash, but I do hook up the cold water intake and, I tell you, it looks smartish! The emergency valve pipe? Not so much. See, the fitting I got would not work because the valve is too close to the heater, but with the flexible tube from the Universal Kit, I am able to finagle the 3/4 to 1/4 inch drop off nicely. Of course, three of the five steps involved fly directly in the face of what the book tells ya to do, but I figure Victor got away with it, so screw the book.

I am very down because my family cannot shower, wash their hands or flush the toilet until I get this solved...

In the Morning:

Back to Lowe's as they open. Thanks to the wonderful Janet I find out that my 1/2 inch copper tubing is actually 3/8" and they do not have a Gator Clamp bit that goes from one to the other. I make the executive decision to just use hot water PVC and say to hell with copper.

Back at the Casa:

It all goes together smoothly. Proto is an old hand at PVC work.

Moment of truth one: turning the water on and checking for leaks. Turn the supply on and...

Son of a bitch! No leaks.

Moment of truth two: turning the power back on. Ever since the dishwasher, I have been skittish about power supply. I told Gage to expect nothing, or a pop, a flash and a scream. Throw the breaker...

Nothing.

Proto-Mechanic and family have hot water once again.

Aside two: on the way home from Lowe's the windw in the van does not want to go down right. High on his success, Proto checks it all out... and snaps a very important bolt. That's the universe keeping it real, folks.

Toodles.

Actual time: 8 hours work time. If Victor had not been such a bastard, I would have dropped it in three. "He has a Creed in Three!"Oh, and I never lost my temper once. Ah, growth.

OMG! Have been so busy. But there is a lull and I am milking it, dammit! The week that was:

Monday 2/6/12

Squats
Jacob
45 x 10
135 x 5
185 x 3
205 x 5
215 x 5
225 x 5... PR!!!

Chris
45 x 10
95 x 5
135 x 3
165 x 2
190 x 1
205 x 3
205 x 3
205 x 3... Killing it

Pete
BW x 12 x 2
45 x 10
135 x 8
225 x 5
315 x 3
405 x 2
455 x 5
480 x 5
510 x 5... it nearly killed me. The weight was never in question, it was just heavy.

Called it. The stress and strain of work are killing me in the gym.

Wednesday 2/7/12
Bench

Jacob
45 x 10
95 x 5
135 x 3
180 x 5p
195 x 5p
205 x 5p... PR!!!

3ct pauses
165 x 5p

Chris
45 x 10
75 x 5
95 x 3
110 x 4p
120 x 4p
130 x 2p... PR, but she just did not have it tonight.
125 x 3fp
115 x 5p

Wides
105 x 8

I didn't do anything because of an elbow issue.

Friday 2/10/12
Deadlift

Jacob
135 x 10
185 x 5
225 x 3
255 x 5... done. Long story.

Christan
135 x 10C
185 x 5S
205 x 10C
205 x 10S
225 x 4 + 6 C
225 x 10S

Pete
Sumo
135 x 10
225 x 5
315 x 3
405 x 2
460 x 5 all reset
495 x 5 all reset
525 x 5... could only reset last one. It was just killing me.


Sunday 2/12/12
Christan: had to squat becuase of a meeting on Monday
45 x 10
95 x 5
135 x 3
165 x 1
195 x 1
215 x 1... a little ugly
230 x 3... TPR
230 x 3... PR for sets... looked pretty good.

Speed pulls: con
135 x 5
185 x 5
205 x 3
205 x 3 Sumo
205 x 3 x 6 sets

Pete: My whole Chi was messed up
P-Rows
225 x 5
255 x 5
275 x 5
295 x 5

Pullups off the Smith Machine
4 sets of eight

Standing abs
120 x 15
140 x 12
150 x 10
160 x 8
170 x 1
160 x 6
130 x 12

Front Delt Raises
20 x 10
25 x 10
30 x 10

Side Delt Raises
25 x 10
30 x 10
35 x 8

Monday 2/13/12
Squats: The return of the idiot twins show

Jacob
45 x 10
135 x 5
185 x 3
205 x 3
225 x 3
245 x 3... PR

Bench
45 x 10
95 x 5
135 x 3
165 x 1
195 x 3p
205 x 3p
215 x 3p... TPR, did not think he was going to get it.

Gage
Squat
45 x 10
135 x 8
185 x 5
225 x 5
255 x 5
275 x 5... looked pretty good

Overhead Press
45 x 10
95 x 5
105 x 5
115 x 5
120 x 5

Pete
Squat
bw x 12 x 2
45 x 10
135 x 8
225 x 5
315 x 3
405 x 2
480 x 3
510 x 3
545 x 3... OMG it hurts us, my precious.

Once again, I crap out.


Wednesday 2/15/2012... This was our twentieth anniversary!!!
Bench

Chris
Close Grip
45 x 10
75 x 5
95 x 3
110 x 3p
115 x 3p
120 x 1p... got out of the groove.
120 x 1p
120 x 2fp

2 board close
125 x 1p..ugly
115 x 3p
120 x 3p... easy
125 x 2p.... good ending to a bad workout.

Gage: The triumphal return
45 x 10
95 x 5
135 x 3
190 x 5p... easy
215 x 5p... solid
225 x 5p... same as last set.

3 board
245 x 3p
255 x 3p
265 x 3p... Noone, including himself, thought he was gonna get the last one.

Pete
45 x 15
95 x 10
135 x 8
185 x 5
225 x 3lp
275 x 3p... guh
295 x 3lp... last pause was rough
315 x 3lp... did not intend on pausing the last one, but it felt good.

Close Grip
255 x 5p
275 x 3p... I stopped and Gage chastised me so I unracked and did 2p
295 x 1p... shoulder felt hinky and loose, so I called it.

then we celebrated our anniversary with chocolate, Chips Ahoy!, Pizza and Rolling Rock.